I am writing this from a complete state of excitement and love for life--MY life. I got a tattoo on my left forearm in 2007, Love Your Life-- it says so perfectly. What it meant to me then is miniscule in comparison to what it means to me now.
In August of this year I signed up for the Lifestyle Design Retreat program and I will tell you it was the best decision I have ever made. It was the best investment, and the best opportunity that has come my way.
In the last 8 weeks, my life has gone from focusing on fear, shame, and guilt to focusing on love, joy, excitement, presence and productivity.
Going into this program I had a lot of focus on some major demons (or what I thought were major demons) that were haunting me from previous experiences and relationships in life. I had recently left my partner in June, and was ready for some major life detoxing of all things bad. In my day to day life I would be stopped in my tracks with flashbacks and a flood of emotions. I was not present in my everyday life, and I was completely missing out in my life and my daughter was growing up before my eyes, and I was totally missing out on moments with her from being in a chronic state of thinking!
Working through the program was amazing! Each week we had new material, and more ways to get productive in designing the life that we want. I was the total example of fear and guilt, all I could think about was finances, and the shoulds and shouldn't dos of the course. I still WASN'T PRESENT! A common word I used to describe how I felt was "stuck". I would just be walking in my life and I felt completely and utterly stuck, with no direction, no concrete goals, and having no real production on moving forward. Ya, I had some great thoughts about what I would like to do, but I never really envisioned them. I was so stuck in my head that I couldn't get present enough to start working on them.
And of course, I was the perfect example of fear and doubt. When I initially signed up for this course I signed up for one on one coaching, and thought yup I am going for gold. Then, fear and doubt creeped in, and I fully let it in, so I back out of coaching. I told myself, it was too much money, I couldn't handle it financially, I was being selfish for investing that kind of money into my personal goals and health, and I could do it by myself, couldn't I? So, I got a refund on my coaching, and I went on with the course, but I was still stuck, I was still in my head, and I wasn't totally rocking it like I wanted to. So, finally I recognized that I needed help and I wasn't afraid to ask for it.
So, I signed up with the fiery, redhead and got my supernova laserbeam skype calls and WOW did it ever change the game. It was a complete game changer, and a complete eye opener. Tera stood by me and believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. She was and still is my biggest cheerleader in my life. She held my hand when I was scared, confronted me on my crap and totally 100% genuinely showed me love, compassion and true support.
My life is so beautiful now. I am more present in my life than I have ever been. I no longer am stopped in my foot steps with flashbacks or haunted by demons from the past. I am just me, and I love it. I can't even remember the last time I felt so good, probably never. I am SO excited about life and love, and am so grateful! My relationships are improving each and every day, I am a more present Mom for my daughter, and I am nourishing my body with not just green juices and smoothies but with love. I believe in myself more than ever, and I am not going to stop until I reach my goals and purpose. Each and every day is an opportunity for me to be productive and to spread my love all across the world, and that is exactly what I will do.